Even craftgirls get the blues...

I learned something about myself today...

I have this "thing" where I set certain standards for myself and if they are not met, I tend to punish myself.  I was supposed to vend at an open house and it was going to be an intimate event at one of my friends' homes.  My friend makes GORGEOUS candles.  GORGEOUS, I tell ya.  She's also a Reiki Master Practitioner so she has a line of reiki-infused chakra candles that I just HAD TO GET MY HANDS ON.  Another vendor is pretty established in the area for her bath & body products.  You name it, she makes it.  There were also jewelry makers and what not attending as well.

You know what I make?

candles, bath & body stuff,  knit & crochet accessories, hair accessories.  and I paint. and I woodburn.  pretty much any and all crafts I can get my hands on.

You know how much I sold?

nothing.  I never even took my inventory out of the case for people to see

and I'll tell you why....

First off, I wasn't prepared with enough inventory and that pissed me right off.  I had MAYBE 10 things total ready for sale, almost all of them knit earwarmers.  I haven't been making things as fast as I usually do.  I haven't had the time or made the time.  I'll spare you my long and distinguished list of excuses.

I've been in a bit of a creative slump lately.  You can always tell when I'm tired and creatively blocked because stuff starts to pile up in my house.  Boxes of things are arranged neatly in the open spaces of my living room & kitchen floor so that they are almost ready to be tripped over.  Jars and containers I need to consolidate are arranged neatly on the kitchen floor as they anxiously await the scrubs, lotions & potions I will eventually fill them with for holiday gift sets.  The 2 reusable shopping bags I used to clean out all the "essential" items out of my old car that I have yet to put into my new car (because honestly, if I have a new, reliable car... do I really need my grandfather's jumper cables that are older than me?)

Creative ideas are trapped inside my head with no way out 

and eventually... 

I, too, will be trapped inside my apartment 

with no clear pathway out.

Second, I was late to arrive at the open house.  This was mostly out of my control, I took my car in to get a remote start.  Yes, I made the appointment for today when I knew I had plans but I took the car in at 830 this morning fercripessake.  I didn't think I would have an issue getting to an event at 6pm.

So this is what I do.  When I am not mentally or physically prepared for something, I clam right the heck up and put myself in time out.  No vending your few crafts at THIS event, young lady.  Get it together and maybe next time.  I did manage to reward myself with shopping while I was in my self-imposed time out though.  A set of chakra candles and an extra throat chakra candle made its way into my possession before the night was over as did a small bottle of olive oil lotion.

The good news is, I started feeling little flashes of energy and inspiration while I was there.  I get around artists and crafters and I always feel like I'm home... Comfortable to talk to everyone I meet or observe quietly from behind a camera.

and just like that, I have a new project I'm working on.  Something completely unrelated to anything I saw at the open house or anything I've done before and I must say I'm excited to get it just right before I am ready to offer it up to the world... and not a second sooner.  No more timeouts.