March is ugly.

March is ugly.

March is officially the ugliest month of the year, especially here in Chicago.  This has been an exceptionally brutal winter (the worst since I've been alive, they tell me) and we've had more snow in the past few months than I can remember over the past 5 years.

...and March is when it ALLLL MELTS.

Everything is still dead or hibernating.  

Exhaust fumes and debris have turned the beautiful winter wonderland into a cold, grey, melting lump of half-ice, half-soot sludge.  Your car has a layer of salt and mud covering it and puddles of melting snow camouflage pot holes big enough to take out a front axle.  

Our Marches are grey, cold, and depressing...

...but I've decided to fall in line with nature this March.

It's time to get muddy, to begin to plant new roots, and start to wake up.

Truth be told, I'm TERRIBLE at New Year's Resolutions.  I'm also terrible at starting anything new in the middle of summer, say around my birthday and such.

I'm AWESOME at transition seasons though.

Spring Ahead

Fall Back

Spring Cleaning

Running in the Fall

and new in 2014:  getting back into weight watchers.

I lost all my baby weight and then some back in 2006 on weight watchers.  Any plan where I can budget my day to include a vanilla ice cream cone is where it's at, for sure.  So in addition to my return to smart food choices, I'm also taking my vitamins, drinking my water and I've been using a fantastic skin care routine (another post for another day, pals).

Yes, it's cold and damp outside.

Yes, the pretty white snow has melted into soot-covered ice puddles.

and YES, my daily walk just ended with me ankle deep in mud.

but ya know what they say,

NO MUD

NO LOTUS

and I'm ready to bloom.

retreat

I woke up today and everything looks as if it shrank overnight.  All of my plants, that were open and basking in the "warmth" of the past two days are now shriveled and shivering.  My sensitive plant does, indeed, shiver.  He also gets mad when I move him around, turns a few leaves yellow and drops them in defiance.  The entire plant crew is looking scared and reserved today and no doubt the drop in temperature from a "balmy" 40 degrees to a painfully oppressive 5 degrees (windchill -8!) is the culprit.

Kind of fitting though, all of the shrinking and retreating inward, less than two full days before the new year.  I plan to do the same.  It's been a really long time since I've attended any kind of New Year's Eve festivities and I'm ok with that.  I've had my share of the sparkles and noisemakers, the champagne and countdowns.  I've staged early countdowns for kids that shouldn't be up too late and I've let a few actually stay up until midnight.  

This year, I'm all about ease.  I have to work on New Year's Eve and busy days at work usually mean I have an evening of recharging on my couch ahead of me.  I have this crazy idea to set my intention for the coming year by where I choose to focus the evening before.  Of course I want fun and parties and loved ones and midnight kisses for the coming year but I also want peace and quiet.  I want to be warm and rested.  I want to snuggle my family and have down-time.  

I also want to be prepared.

So tomorrow night, with pen & paper in hand, I'm going to curl up in the corner of my couch.  Feet tucked under the cushion, wrapped up in the coziest blanket I can find, I'm going to ring in the new year and let the ideas flow into my ideas journal where they will patiently wait for their chances to shine in 2014.

and I'll probably fall asleep before midnight.  ;)

Even craftgirls get the blues...

I learned something about myself today...

I have this "thing" where I set certain standards for myself and if they are not met, I tend to punish myself.  I was supposed to vend at an open house and it was going to be an intimate event at one of my friends' homes.  My friend makes GORGEOUS candles.  GORGEOUS, I tell ya.  She's also a Reiki Master Practitioner so she has a line of reiki-infused chakra candles that I just HAD TO GET MY HANDS ON.  Another vendor is pretty established in the area for her bath & body products.  You name it, she makes it.  There were also jewelry makers and what not attending as well.

You know what I make?

candles, bath & body stuff,  knit & crochet accessories, hair accessories.  and I paint. and I woodburn.  pretty much any and all crafts I can get my hands on.

You know how much I sold?

nothing.  I never even took my inventory out of the case for people to see

and I'll tell you why....

First off, I wasn't prepared with enough inventory and that pissed me right off.  I had MAYBE 10 things total ready for sale, almost all of them knit earwarmers.  I haven't been making things as fast as I usually do.  I haven't had the time or made the time.  I'll spare you my long and distinguished list of excuses.

I've been in a bit of a creative slump lately.  You can always tell when I'm tired and creatively blocked because stuff starts to pile up in my house.  Boxes of things are arranged neatly in the open spaces of my living room & kitchen floor so that they are almost ready to be tripped over.  Jars and containers I need to consolidate are arranged neatly on the kitchen floor as they anxiously await the scrubs, lotions & potions I will eventually fill them with for holiday gift sets.  The 2 reusable shopping bags I used to clean out all the "essential" items out of my old car that I have yet to put into my new car (because honestly, if I have a new, reliable car... do I really need my grandfather's jumper cables that are older than me?)

Creative ideas are trapped inside my head with no way out 

and eventually... 

I, too, will be trapped inside my apartment 

with no clear pathway out.

Second, I was late to arrive at the open house.  This was mostly out of my control, I took my car in to get a remote start.  Yes, I made the appointment for today when I knew I had plans but I took the car in at 830 this morning fercripessake.  I didn't think I would have an issue getting to an event at 6pm.

So this is what I do.  When I am not mentally or physically prepared for something, I clam right the heck up and put myself in time out.  No vending your few crafts at THIS event, young lady.  Get it together and maybe next time.  I did manage to reward myself with shopping while I was in my self-imposed time out though.  A set of chakra candles and an extra throat chakra candle made its way into my possession before the night was over as did a small bottle of olive oil lotion.

The good news is, I started feeling little flashes of energy and inspiration while I was there.  I get around artists and crafters and I always feel like I'm home... Comfortable to talk to everyone I meet or observe quietly from behind a camera.

and just like that, I have a new project I'm working on.  Something completely unrelated to anything I saw at the open house or anything I've done before and I must say I'm excited to get it just right before I am ready to offer it up to the world... and not a second sooner.  No more timeouts.

why yes, I DO have a great massage story to tell...

When people find out that I'm a massage therapist, one of two things always happens.  Either they ask me if I have any really funny or crazy massage stories or they start pointing to something that hurts as if I'm going to rub it right then and there.  I wonder what those people do when they find out someone is a proctologist?

So here it is... my new favorite massage story:

(Official disclaimer for those that will probably be offended over nothing.  #1, I never give out details that would be a breech of ethics.  I am first and foremost a professional according to the state of illinois and backed up by the 13.5 in debt and a shiny, framed Associate's Degree in Applied Science.  #2, I am open to all walks of life and all faiths, provided that they do not hold me captive and force feed my doctrine.  It's the captivity and irony of this story that makes it funny, relax)


So my day started out preparing for what is always a very labor intensive, draining massage.  I'm only so strong and so big, very deep tissue and sports massage is not my preferred modality.  I can hack it but not for too many in a row.  A client was coming in that I see regularly and needing a DEEEEEP sports massage like always.  As I go in, I hear mumbling and I realize there is an iPhone on the ground so that my client can watch a podcast through the facehole.  It's on the wood floor so the podcast, a megachurch sermon, is amplified and filling the room, because....    "I thought it would be weird if I brought my headphones"

(no weirder than an impromptu megachurch hour long Jesus rant)

Now the sermon podcast wasn't that bad.  From what I could hear it was a very sweet and inspired message.  Help your fellow man, Gratitude and faith go hand in hand, be kind to the less fortunate... See how those that have more can share with those that have less... generosity, gratitude, JESUS JESUS JESUS.

Then, THE HEAT TURNS ON.  It's October in Chicago, after all.. and it was a balmy 45 degrees this morning and the heat gets cranked (by the one person working who does NOT have to do any physically demanding work) to 78.  The heat blasts directly on my face, as if I took a peek at the Ark of the Covenant, my face is now MELTING OFF to the tune of contemporary religious music (the kind that you see commercials for where everyone looks like they're in pain).

Just then, the actual spa music in the room switches to a meditation chant song about Ganesha.

So there I am...
exhausted and straining, my hands on fire
heat blasting, face melting off, sweat pouring from my scalp, face, neck, and back
bombarded with  OM MANI GANESHA OM GANESHA JESUS JESUS JESUS GANESHA JESUS GANESHA OM OM JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS

...I'm pretty sure this is what hell feels like.

the hour ends, the client is relaxed and happy and after an extra long sermon about giving to the poor and appreciating your fellow man...     no tip.




service industry brothers and sisters, can I get an Amen???